Why'd Lindsay Lohan sniffle and snooze her way through Monday morning's Today show interview? Because she was up all night with some friends, blowing rails off her Ouija board and playing round after round of Girl Talk. Duh. Page Six reports that Lohan's Sunday night posse included a couple of friends, her assistant, and a Conde Nast staffer.

For whatever reason, Page Six doesn't give us a name -- but we refuse to let the Conde Staffer remain anonymous. Why shouldn't his or her identity be revealed? Clearly they're the hardest working individual in 4 Times Square, willing to go the distance to secure access to Hollywood's best cover girls. And for that, they should be promoted!

So let's name names. You email us your guesses for the staffer, we do the confirmation, and you win a prize. A mirror, a straw, a gram, whatever. You'll be rewarded, we can promise you that much. Come forward and do this person a favor, so that this excellent employee gets the credit he or she so very much deserves.

Label: lindsay lohan